The Best OC Quotes




Episode 401 – “The Avengers”
Aired: 11/02/06

“The chickens, man! It’s the chickens!”
– Che explaining to Summer what they’re protesting today.

“I’m sure some Archie and Jughead will cheer him right up.”
– Seth, scoffing at Kirsten’s suggestion to give Ryan some comic books.

“You’re sleeping? And you’re talking? Ryan…I don’t even see how that’s possible unless you’re talking in your sleep.”
– Seth, somewhat skeptical that Ryan is actually sleeping and not just trying to get Seth to leave.

“I think you mean ‘mon dieu’, Summer. Yes, c’est moi.”
– Taylor, trying to convince Summer she’s still in France.

“Few grunts. The occasional shrug.”
– Sandy, predicting how much chatter the Cohens will get out of Ryan at dinner.

“If you think you can ply me with food…you’re right. This bacon is delicious.”
– Seth, caving in to his parents’ bribe for information on Ryan.

“Fifteen hundred dollars for a pair of boots? You know how many pencils that could buy Sudanese schoolchildren?”
– Summer, demonstrating her newfound priorities for Seth.

Episode 402 – “The Gringos”
Aired: 11/08/06

“Really? Late where? It’s six in the morning. You got a paper route or something?”
– Seth, wondering why Ryan is so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed near sunrise.

“What an amazing spirit you have. I bet in a past life, you were an eagle soaring through mountain passes.”
– Che, being a hippie.

“Do you have a secret twin? Because that would explain so much.”
– Summer, wondering how Taylor can always be everywhere at once.

“Very lucky refugees.”
– Kaitlin, admiring the clothing that the Harbor School is donating to charity.

“Move it, hippies.”
– Taylor, going all Eric Cartman at the tree rally.

“I want you to know that I took two semesters of Spanish.”
– Kirsten, assuring Sandy that she can help them find their way around Ensenada.

Episode 403 – “The Cold Turkey”
Aired: 11/09/06

“No, I’m not angry. I just wish he was dead, that’s all.”
– Ryan, calmly explaining his feelings on Volchok to Sandy.

“You know, since I’ve been on the run, my dreams have been so vivid. Like last night, I dreamed that Gerard Depardieu and I were teammates on The Amazing Race.”
– Summer, describing one of her vivid dreams to Seth.

“No, no, Kirsten. Let me. You want to just lightly kiss the bird. Like so.”
– Taylor, teaching Kirsten how to properly baste a turkey.

“Who knew, out of all you kids, she would turn out to be the young Sandy Cohen?”
– Sandy, marveling at Summer’s newfound activism to Seth.

“Fine! Don’t come crying to me when Kirsten’s turkey tastes like rubber!”
– Julie, warning Kaitlin that going to the Cohens’ for dinner is not a wise epicurean decision.

“Do it! Kill me! I don’t care any more! I don’t care any more!”
– Volchok, taking all of fun out of Ryan’s attempt to beat him to death.

“Yeah! Now I remember. I called you Crazy Eyebrow Man.”
– A homeless guy, recognizing Sandy at his own dinner table.

Episode 404 – “The Metamorphosis”
Aired: 11/16/06

“Well, this whole save the planet thing. It was a crutch, right? And nothing against handicapped people, but crutches? Ew.”
– Summer, working through some fascinating issues with a Brown therapist.

“I love shopping, tanning and celebrity gossip. Always have, always will.”
– Summer, getting to the heart of the true Summer.

“Well, I could rack a few balls with you.”
– Kirsten, offering to play pool with Sandy.

“You know, Jimmy left, Caleb died, then Jimmy left again. Even Neil’s gone. Look, I wasn’t a pennant winner, but at least I had a bullpen. That’s baseball talk.”
– Sandy, using a sports metaphor to lament the loss of his guy friends.

“I wish I knew you were coming into town. I would’ve made a bracelet!”
– Che, apologizing to Seth that he didn’t make a bracelet for his arrival.

“Men to me are what chardonnay is to you. One sip and I’m upside down on a chandelier.”
– Julie, explaining to Kirsten why she’s swearing off men. And reminding Kirsten that she’s a boozehound.

“Didn’t get fired, didn’t punch any of my drunken customers, I’d say I’m great.”
– Ryan, telling Sandy he met his small goals for that workday.

Episode 405 – “The Sleeping Beauty”
Aired: 11/30/06

“She said Ryan was funny.”
– Sandy, surprised by Taylor’s comment that Ryan is funny knowing that Ryan is, in fact, not funny.

“I know, it’s crazy. I mean, I’ve always thought cute guy, might be good for a night of rough and tumble fun, but we have nothing in common.”
– Taylor, surprised by her own crush on Ryan.

“Your name’s Pancakes, did you know that?”
– Summer, asking a caged bunny if she knew her name was Pancakes.

“And what if I can help him? He wins, I win. They call it win-win for a reason.”
– Taylor, defending her sleep therapy scheme to Seth.

“I got the call too. That scientist picked us out of Facebook. Apparently, the chiseled features of freedom? Not that hard to recognize.”
– Che, lamenting his good looks, love of freedom and call to appear in the Dean’s Office on suspicion of freeing bunnies.

“So…what? Sandy just served me up like a piece of meat?…How rich is he?…Five o’clock will be fine.”
– Julie, talking to Kirsten on the phone and learning about her date with Gordon Bullitt.

Episode 406 – “The Summer Bummer”
Aired: 12/07/06

“Hey, Ryan. Ryan! I schmeared it for ya.”
– Sandy, trying to snap Ryan out of his stupor by offering him a pre-schmeared bagel.

“I tell ya, the women are well-preserved in this town.”
– Gordon Bullitt, marveling at the wonders of plastic surgery.

“I listened to stupid Che and his stupid plan and he sold me down the stupid river.”
– Summer, lamenting her stupid suspension from Brown.

“Great! Okay listen, if there’s anything else I can do for you, I’ll be in my room reading comics and, you know, listening to indie rock.”
– Sandy, admirably filling in as a substitute Seth.

“This place reeks of incense and righteousness.”
– Seth, turning up his nose at the aromas in Che’s room.

“Because I keep imagining her on roller skates and washing windows with…a big bucket of soapy water.”
– Ryan, explaining to Seth how he knows he likes Taylor.

“Well, all I said was Iran/Iraq war, whoever loses, we win.”
– Gordon, explaining Middle East foreign policy from a Texas point of view.

Episode 407 – “The Chrismukk-huh?”
Aired: 12/14/06

“No, this is for Ryan. I got him a George Foreman grill because he likes lean meat…obviously.”
– Taylor, envisioning days of Ryan grilling in the pool house thanks to her gift.

“Here. The receipt’s inside. I hope you grill your face.”
– Taylor, not handling Ryan’s holiday apprehension very well.

“What’s he doing here? I thought he goes to Brown.”
– Ryan, getting caught up on one aspect of the parallel universe.

“Oh. No, honey. I told you, my family only drinks wine coolers.”
– Julie, explaining to Kaitlin that a nice bottle of white will go unappreciated in Riverside.

“We’re having a very Britney Christmas, mother.”
– Kaitlin, describing her family by using 2006’s favorite shorthand for white trash.

“Uh, anything. Could be like our world, only messed up. They’ve got to reset the balance. Or, could be a world ruled by giant vegetables and they’ve got to topple the vegetable despot before they can come back.”
– Seth, brainstorming possible parallel world missions Ryan and Taylor must complete before waking up.

“Thong is an acronym for The Homeless of Newport…Go.”
– Parallel Julie, trying to cover up what thong means.

Episode 408 – “The Earth Girls Are Easy”
Aired: 12/21/06

“Last coffee of ’06. How much are you hoping I don’t make that joke all day?”
– Seth, asking Ryan how long it takes to drive a joke into the ground.

“It’s that old adage; couples that have comas together, stay together.”
– Seth, seemingly inventing a new adage.

“Ohhhhh yeah, peanut. She’s under my skin. The whole time I was in Riyadh, didn’t once try to peek under a girl’s burka.”
– Bullitt, confessing to Kaitlin that he’s truly into Julie.

“Follow that alien! She stole my purse.”
– Taylor, barking out orders to follow that alien. It makes sense in context.

“Maybe she won’t notice. Isn’t she an alcoholic?”
– Spencer Bullitt, optimistically hoping Kirsten won’t notice his and Julie’s male prostitution ring at the New Year’s party.

“You know. It. The thing.”
– Ryan, just slightly dancing around the issue with Taylor.

Episode 409 – “The My Two Dads”
Aired: 01/04/07

“Are you sure? Because getting married is kind of a big deal. I should know.”
– Taylor, not realizing that marriages in Newport are mostly fluid in nature.

“Frack that. He wants a game of chicken, he’s gonna get it. I’m going Bridezilla on his ass.”
– Summer, announcing to Taylor her intentions to going Bridezilla on Seth’s ass.

“Ooh! My brisket is burning!”
– Summer, practicing being a nice, Jewish wife.

“Manipulating the opposite sex. God, Julie, why didn’t I come to you earlier.”
– Summer, remembering she lives with the Yoda of devious intrasex relations.

“Well, I just can’t do this to your father, Summer. We’ve watched too much golf together. I love that man.”
– Seth, explaining why he must ask Dr. Roberts for Summer’s hand.

“I don’t watch girls’ basketball. Chicks with big hands freak me out.”
– Kaitlin, explaining to Will why she doesn’t watch girls’ basketball.

“When you get decked after dessert, it’s usually time to call it a night.”
– Ryan, telling Taylor how Atwood men know a meal has ended.

Episode 410 – “The French Connection”
Aired: 01/11/07

“Yeah. Sometimes I take pictures of you with my cameraphone when you’re not looking.”
– Taylor, being just a little bit sweet and just a little bit creepy with Ryan.

“Kinda like Bridges Of Madison County meets The Notebook meets…porn.”
– A very helpful bookstore clerk, explaining to Taylor what “A Season For Peaches” is about.

“And in public! I thought Peaches was gonna get arrested!”
– Sandy, remarking to a stranger how dirty this book is.

“We call ourselves The Newpsieweds. Can you even handle how cute that is?”
– Holly, succinctly summing up why most people hate Newport Beach.

“Okay, Ryan, even if I was that limber, you know I would never do that in the Chunnel!”
– Taylor, pleading with Ryan not to believe everything in Peaches.

“You want his big, dorky arms wrapped around you while he gives you big, dorky kisses.”
– Julie, picking up on the fact that Kaitlin is into a dork.

“That’s amazing! I’ll weave you guys something ASAP.”
– Che, promises Summer a woven wedding present.

Episode 411 – “The Dream Lover”
Aired: 01/18/07

“Che transcends space and time.”
– Summer, explaining the mysterious powers of Chester.

“Did you know that figs are nature’s biological response modifiers?”
– Che, touting one of the many virtues of figs.

“You turn our business into a prostitution ring and you get hung up on. Company policy.”
– Kirsten, iterating a company policy to Julie that probably isn’t in the New Match handbook.

“Young man, this is not karaoke. You don’t get a turn.”
– A book clerk, dissuading Ryan’s attempt to read his own poem.

“’Cause that’s just what I do. I mean, I make fun of everyone. Usually ‘cause I’m high.”
– Kaitlin, explaining why she does what she does.

“You know who else is a dork? That Lucy chick. I mean, she’s got a pretty hot bod for a dork.”
– Kaitlin, trying to push Will into some dork love.

“Otters are so cute. Oh my gosh, their whiskers and how they use their belly to crack open their little abalone dinner.”
– Summer, temporarily ignoring the fact that abalone are also living creatures who don’t want to be eaten.

Episode 412 – “The Groundhog Day”
Aired: 01/25/07

“Listen, Mom, what better way to see out your thirties than a little South Korean shock cinema?”
– Seth, pushing his Mom to share his arcane, arty tastes.

“Oh yeah, that’s from our third date. He’s a very generous tipper. You wouldn’t know it to look him.”
– Taylor, bragging to Summer about Ryan’s tipping practices.

“Well, stop hiding out in the shadows like Al Qaeda wacko.”
– Bullitt, reminding Kaitlin that national defense begins at home.

“What does it feel like when your appendix bursts?”
– Kaitlin, asking Julie a question that implies her appendix probably hasn’t burst.

“Well, when I see something I want, I go for it. Like a bullet. Bang.”
– Bullitt, explaining his bulleteqsue philosophy.

Episode 413 – “The Case of the Franks”
Aired: 02/01/07

“Wait a sec. Idea coming in! Aaaaannnnnddd…here it is!”
– Taylor, walking Frank through her thought process.

“Oh, I know. You haven’t given me the green light on that marriage proposal. But I didn’t make 900 million by being a pessimist. Did I mention that there will be no pre-nup?”
– Gordon, using all of his fiscal charms to woo Julie.

“But seriously, I can’t wait to take you down to Chinatown.”
– Gordon, making it clear to Julie that he’s ready to express their love in a physical fashion.

“Yeah, you know. Romeo and Juliet, Fred and Wilma, Sandy and Kirsten Cohen.”
– Summer, running down her personal list of famous couples through time.

“Hey, Luke, good news. Only eleven months and six days until The Matrix comes out.”
– Young Seth, in 1998, trying to get Young Luke all fired up about sci-fi.

“Eat it, nerdbrain.”
– Young Luke’s jocky response.

“What are you, a Republican? Oh. I’m sorry. Did you catch it from your parents? I hear it’s hereditary.”
– Sandy Cohen’s first ever words to Kirsten Nichol.

Episode 414 – “The Shake Up”
Aired: 02/08/07

“Well, it’s the nature equivalent of a chick flick.”
– Seth, not at all impressed by a movie about a turtle adopting a hippo in the wild.

“I wanna go watch the penguins again, and don’t you dare say anything.”
– Summer, going nuts for America’s favorite animal of the ‘00s, penguins.

“The people in Newport are awful.”
– Kirsten, finally figuring it out.

“She’s a beautiful woman, he’s a hunchback who lives in a bell tower. The chance of it working out…”
– Ryan, clearly forgetting that love is blind.

“When was the last time you two did tequila poppers?”
– Carrie Spitz, asking the Cohens a question she should already know the answer to.

Episode 415 – “The Night Moves”
Aired: 02/15/07

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea when the power’s back on and we’re not sitting in rubble.”
– Taylor, agreeing with Ryan that now is not the time to continue discussing their love status.

“Not that I’m fond of natural disasters, but there is nothing sexier than your husband calming an angry mob.”
– Kirsten, mentioning her very odd fetish to Sandy.

“Isn’t that kind of inappropriate given the sexual content of the lyrics?”
– Gary the scoop kid, wondering if Julie should have been singing “Night Moves” to baby Kaitlin.

“Ryan, you’re asking me to use tools and exert myself physically. I think we both know where this is going.”
– Seth, opining that there isn’t much chance of him changing a blown tire.

“There we go, locked and loaded. Just how mama likes it.”
– Taylor, showing that perhaps happiness is a warm flare gun.

“It’s Jimmy Cooper’s flare gun. I found it in the hall closet when I was looking for rain gear.”
– Taylor, explaining why she has a flare gun in her earthquake kit.

“That’s weird, because all of a sudden I have this strange urge to listen to Death Cab and read comic books.”
– Ryan, wondering if Seth’s donated blood is taking over his body.

“Ah, it’s too bad because if we could’ve turned this into a body swap comedy, we could’ve squeezed another year or two out of this.”
– Seth, hitting upon a way to save The OC, but a bit too late.

416 – “The End’s Not Near It’s Here”
Aired: 02/22/07

“Well, we’ve seen five versions of the same house. Does it really matter which one we pick?”
– Kirsten, highlighting a rarely discussed positive aspect of McMansionization.

“The Bullit’s DNA is bulletproof. Not a recessive gene in the whole damn double helix!”
– Bullit, boasting about his fine DNA.

“It just got picked up for five more seasons. You know, these teen dramas, they just run forever.”
– Summer, talking about The Valley and going meta all at once.

“Oh my God. I’m a bad crack mother.”
– Summer, lamenting the fact that she didn’t know Pancakes was pregnant. Or a female.

“Take a look around, man. In a few weeks you’re going to have all these new faces to punch.”
– Seth, walking Ryan through a tour of Berkeley.

“Okay, who do you think is hotter, El Paso or San Antonio?”
– Taylor, wondering which of the Bullit boys she should hook up with at the wedding.

“Not now, Kaitlin. Your mom’s trying to figure out who to marry.”
– Julie, facing a common wedding day dilemma.

“Don’t forget to clean his cage, which should not be used for cage fights.”
– Summer, leaving care instructions for Pancakes with Ryan.

“Hey, kid. Need help?”
– Ryan, reaching out to a young boy in the last words ever spoken on The OC.



Episode 301 – “The Aftermath” Aired: 09/08/05

“Well, you gotta admit Coop, no matter what happens – Ryan facing off with Trey to avenge your honor? It’s pretty freaking hot. In like, a mythic biblical Samurai Western kind of way.” -Summer, trying to offer Marissa a silver lining.

“Sure. Record it. Release it on iTunes. Hope it’s a big hit.”
–Seth, sassing off to the D.D.A.

“Does this look like the outfit the mother of an innocent girl would wear?”
– Julie, preparing for the deposition with the D.A.

“So what’s our story then? Trey shot himself in the back?”
– Jimmy, realizing Julie’s going to let Ryan take the fall.

“I was gonna go with maybe a movie, as this is the time when Hollywood dumps their crappy would-be blockbusters which we could mock and thus feel better about ourselves.”
– Seth, suggesting an alternative to visiting Ryan’s comatose brother.

“Let’s play hot/cold. Two million? Seven million? I have at least three million in my pre-nup coming. You blinked. Does one blink mean yes?”
– Julie, trying to coerce Caleb’s estate attorney into revealing the contents of his will.

“You’re going to save Chrismukkah again, ‘cause I enjoyed that.”
– Seth, responding to Summer’s declaration that she has a way to save what’s left of the summer.

“Amazing what laundered money can buy.”
–Seth, commenting on Jimmy’s impressive sailboat.

“In your shoes? I gotta wife in rehab who doesn’t want to come home, and a kid who’s locked up for something he didn’t do. Your shoes are looking pretty good to me right now.”
– Sandy, responding to Jimmy’s contention that if Sandy put himself in his shoes, he’d understand why he can’t stand up to Julie

Episode 302 – “The Shape of Things to Come” Aired: 09/15/05

“Just as well. One Montague, one Capulet – probably plenty.”
– Sandy, after finding out it’s just going to be him and Julie meeting with the new dean.

“Nothing I hate more than perky blond girls who want to take over the world.”
– Summer, commenting on Marissa’s rival for Social Chair, Taylor Townsend.

“The Siegfrieds donated a pool and a field house last year and their son only smoked pot. Our daughter shot someone. We have to at least give them a hundred grand.”
– Julie, responding to Jimmy’s offer to give Harbor two, maybe three thousand dollars.

“And you know what else I like about this place? People here talk. They love to talk. Especially about you.”
– Dean Hess, letting Marissa know he knows more about her than she thinks.

“Look, you can’t out-Taylor Taylor. Fire codes? Regulations? That’s her bread and butter.”
– Seth, trying to convince Summer that she’s going about trying to de-thrown Taylor the wrong way.

“My husband died in the pool and our daughter is about to get expelled. What do you define as luck?”
– Julie, responding to Jimmy’s comment that the Cooper family’s on a lucky streak.

“My stomach was far too Jewish for that ride.”
– Seth, after a ride on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

“She’s the Karl Rove of our school.”
– Summer, referring to the manipulative Taylor Townsend.

“You can take on Karl Rove.” (then) “You know who Karl Rove is?”
– Seth, surprised by Summer’s political reference.

Episode 303 – “The End of Innocence” Aired: 09/22/05

“Like, epically tragic. An end-of-the-world, locusts and horned beasts bummer.”
– Summer, lamenting Marissa and Ryan getting kicked out of school.

“Apparently the more elite the institution, the more accepting they are of criminals.”
– Julie, excited that Kaitlin’s boarding school agreed to admit Marissa.

“Anything for the soon to be Mrs. Cooper-Nichol-Cooper.”
– Sandy, agreeing to look into the reading of Caleb’s will.

“I’ll join the synchronized swim team, do rhythmic gymnastics, shot put. Collect stamps, march for women’s rights, free animals from laboratories – even read comics with Cohen and his whack pack of social maladjusts.”
– Summer, turning down the Dean’s request for her help with the drama club.

“Um, I’m pretty sure Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote South Pacific.”
– Seth, responding to Taylor’s assertion that she’s both directed and wrote the play.

“Is it a three-point plan outlining how you’re gonna keep up your studies, graduate on time, and get into a great college?”
– Sandy, responding to Ryan saying he brought him something.

“Listen, skank. You can’t just say really mean things in a really nice voice and expect us not to realize you’re a total… skank.”
– Summer, firing back after Taylor insults her and Seth.

“So she has something to remember you by when she’s surrounded by hot native dudes and lonely sailors.”
– Seth, suggesting Ryan do something memorable for Marissa before she leaves.”

“See, my dad is really into musicals. You should actually think about opening auditions to parents because his rendition of “Some Enchanted Evening” is quite a treat.
– Seth, attempting to convince Dean Hess that he borrowed the Tiki hut set for his dad.

Episode 304 – “The Last Waltz” Aired: 09/29/05

“And that was the last they ever saw of her.”
– Seth, as the gang watches Marissa disappear into the jowls of the public education system.

“I know this is awkward timing, but what do you think of me going to Newport Union?”
– Ryan, just after Sandy’s made all the arrangements for him to be home-schooled.

“Dr. Woodruff told us to confront our fears. And mine is… my cooking.”
– Kirsten, explaining to Sandy why she’s putting in an herb garden.

“Funny enough, so’s mine.”
– Sandy, sharing in Kirsten’s fear of her cooking.

“Are you sure this is detention? ‘Cause it’s got more of a work release feel.”
– Seth, after Dean Hess instructs him to hit the toilets in the boy’s locker room… with a scrub brush.

“And we will get back on our feet, Marissa. And we’ll be wearing expensive footwear when we do.”
– Julie, trying to convince Marissa they’ll be okay.

“Unless you have an exit strategy – don’t even get outta the boat. I am a human quagmire.”
– Taylor, scoffing at Summer’s assertion that she hasn’t won the war yet.

“Man, you home-schooling kids are pathetic.”
– Seth, ribbing Ryan for not just picking up the phone and apologizing to Marissa.

“You’ve brought the ocean to us. You’re like a little human tsunami.”
– Seth, commenting on Summer’s beach-themed party in the school gym.

Episode 305 – ” The Perfect Storm ” Aired: 11/3/05

“I know this whole ‘cooking with Kirsten’ thing has helped keep you focused. But you can’t just preempt a man’s regular scheduled breakfast.”
– Seth, after Kirsten replaces his bagels with Eggs Benedict Gruyere.

“I’m dating Cohen. My patience is infinite.”
– Summer, assuring Marissa that she’s not sick of living with her.

“It takes a lot to scare Julie. She was married to my father.”
– Kirsten, assuring Charlotte that Julie didn’t leave because of her.

“Dude, where were you? We were just about to sound an amber alert.”
– Seth, relieved that Ryan’s returned home.

“Ryan’s a yellow slicker and grey beard away from becoming the Gorton’s Fisherman.”
– Seth, impressing upon Summer the need to act fast.

“I for one, can’t get enough tofu, to-furkey, to-funa, to-bagel… too much?”
– Sandy, trying to fill the awkward gap at Ryan’s going-away dinner.

“Perhaps you were expecting someone taller, blonder, with a pageboy haircut?”
– Seth, greeting Taylor at the Mermaid Hotel.

“So what’s it gonna be? You can either tell Seth’s dad the whole perverted truth, and save your own sorry ass, or you can roll the dice.”
– Summer, giving Taylor her options.

“Why talk when a picture is worth a thousand words. Or a hefty lawsuit.”
– Sandy, bringing Dean Hess up to speed.

Episode 306 -“The Swells” Aired: 11/10/05

“She’ll get swallowed up by Newport Union. It’s like the Bermuda Triangle.”
– Summer, explaining to Seth what will happen if Ryan and Marissa break up.

“We’re using Bunsen burners from the science lab to simulate a camp fire.”
– Taylor, trying to sell Seth, Ryan and Summer on the Harbor School Lock-In.

“And we tend to welcome these southern swells with an ancient ritual known as Dawn Patrol.”
– Chili, letting Marissa in on the upcoming festivities.

“Meaning you stay up all night and party before you surf?”
– Marissa, catching onto the “ancient ritual.”

“Thanks, but you’ve done me enough favors. It’s getting creepy.”
– Julie, after Charlotte offers to throw a housewarming party for the new condo she just bought her.

“You should see it in Cardio Barre. Nobody will even make eye contact with me. And I used to rule that class.”
– Julie, complaining to Charlotte about her current status among the Newpsies.

“I would, but we’re being imprisoned in the gym and forced to eat s’mores.”
– Summer, having to forgo Marissa’s invitation to hang at the beach for Taylor’s Lock-In at the gym.

“Remember when we used to order out, like normal people?”
– Seth, lamenting another night of Kirsten’s gourmet cooking.

“I saw Unfaithful, Coop, I know the signs.”
– Summer, trying to find out why Marissa came home in Johnny’s sweatshirt.

“Please, there isn’t a lie in the world I haven’t heard or told, so you might as well give it to me straight.”
– Julie, after discovering Charlotte’s many identities.

Episode 307 -“The Anger Management” Aired: 11/17/05

“She’ll get swallowed up by Newport Union. It’s like the Bermuda Triangle.”
– Summer, explaining to Seth what will happen if Ryan and Marissa break up.

“We’re using Bunsen burners from the science lab to simulate a camp fire.”
– Taylor, trying to sell Seth, Ryan and Summer on the Harbor School Lock-In.

“And we tend to welcome these southern swells with an ancient ritual known as Dawn Patrol.”
– Chili, letting Marissa in on the upcoming festivities.

“Meaning you stay up all night and party before you surf?”
– Marissa, catching onto the “ancient ritual.”

“Thanks, but you’ve done me enough favors. It’s getting creepy.”
– Julie, after Charlotte offers to throw a housewarming party for the new condo she just bought her.

“You should see it in Cardio Barre. Nobody will even make eye contact with me. And I used to rule that class.”
– Julie, complaining to Charlotte about her current status among the Newpsies.

“I would, but we’re being imprisoned in the gym and forced to eat s’mores.”
– Summer, having to forgo Marissa’s invitation to hang at the beach for Taylor’s Lock-In at the gym.

“Remember when we used to order out, like normal people?”
– Seth, lamenting another night of Kirsten’s gourmet cooking.

“I saw Unfaithful, Coop, I know the signs.”
– Summer, trying to find out why Marissa came home in Johnny’s sweatshirt.

“Please, there isn’t a lie in the world I haven’t heard or told, so you might as well give it to me straight.”
– Julie, after discovering Charlotte’s many identities.

Episode 308 -“The Game Plan” Aired: 12/1/05

“Pretty soon we’re gonna be living in real cities… with real, non-Botoxed, non-plastic people.”
– Seth, forecasting the gang’s college future.

“I definitely want to join a sorority, oh, but I don’t want to learn Greek.”
– Summer, sharing her college aspirations with the school counselor.

“He wants to go to Brown, and you want to go to some place sunny, where kids drink ‘til they vomit.”
– Taylor, after snooping through Seth and Summer’s files.

“Really? Because I just got Kieslowski’s Decalogue on DVD, and like, I don’t know, I don’t know if you’re into Polish cinema, but maybe you could come over and we could have like a sleep-over marathon — no, sorry, okay.”
– Taylor, after hearing from Summer that she really is her friend.

“Taylor. She made me see that at Brown you’re going to be surrounded by like really smart people and it’s going to make you feel really stupid. So you’re going to need someone around to make you feel smart again.”
– Summer, explaining to Seth what made her change her mind about going east.

“Not too big. Not a lot of sports. And not a lot of big guys playing sports…”
– Seth, giving his college specifications to the school counselor.

“What are the symptoms? You become incredibly annoying?”
– Summer, after Taylor tells her she’s got “college fever.

“You want to stay in Orange County forever? Grow old playing golf and chatting about the NASDAQ?”
– Seth, after Ryan defends Newport.

“Well, I hope you’re opening a detective business.”
– Julie, at their business planning meeting, after Kirsten admits that she followed her to the trailer park.

Episode 309 -“The Disconnect” Aired: 12/8/05

“Pretty soon we’re gonna be living in real cities… with real, non-Botoxed, non-plastic people.”
– Seth, forecasting the gang’s college future.

“I definitely want to join a sorority, oh, but I don’t want to learn Greek.”
– Summer, sharing her college aspirations with the school counselor.

“He wants to go to Brown, and you want to go to some place sunny, where kids drink ‘til they vomit.”
– Taylor, after snooping through Seth and Summer’s files.

“Really? Because I just got Kieslowski’s Decalogue on DVD, and like, I don’t know, I don’t know if you’re into Polish cinema, but maybe you could come over and we could have like a sleep-over marathon — no, sorry, okay.”
– Taylor, after hearing from Summer that she really is her friend.

“Taylor. She made me see that at Brown you’re going to be surrounded by like really smart people and it’s going to make you feel really stupid. So you’re going to need someone around to make you feel smart again.”
– Summer, explaining to Seth what made her change her mind about going east.

“Not too big. Not a lot of sports. And not a lot of big guys playing sports…”
– Seth, giving his college specifications to the school counselor.

“What are the symptoms? You become incredibly annoying?”
– Summer, after Taylor tells her she’s got “college fever.

“You want to stay in Orange County forever? Grow old playing golf and chatting about the NASDAQ?”
– Seth, after Ryan defends Newport.

“Well, I hope you’re opening a detective business.”
– Julie, at their business planning meeting, after Kirsten admits that she followed her to the trailer park.

Episode 310 -“The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah” Aired: 12/15/05

“Who’d want a stripper doing their laundry?”
– Kirsten, after Julie proposes a new kind of cleaning service.

“You don’t ask a lady her age, her weight, or her S.A.T. scores.”
– Seth, after Ryan asks Summer about her S.A.T. scores.

“You will not believe this, but it turns out I am totally smart!”
– Summer, after returning from a meeting with Dr. Kim.

“Because I might become a surfer, get hit by a car, need surgery, and realize I already used my one favor with the best doctor in town? I think we’re safe.”
– Marissa, after Johnny tells her she doesn’t have to do so much for him.

“I’m thinking about actually having a life, doing something important, being the first woman in space, or winning one of those noble prizes.”
– Summer, explaining to Seth why she wants to go to Brown too.

“It’s not noble prize, it’s Nobel. Marie Curie won one in 1903 for discovering Radium.”
– Seth, in response to Summer’s dream.

“I’m not technically in the band, but I was thinking I could sorta hang out, play a little tuba, blow a few minds, get asked to join? What do you think?
– Summer, after being spotted trying to blend into the band.

“Johnny Depp has really inspired me. I think he’s taken the pirate thing to a whole new level.”
– Seth, trying to convince the head cheerleader to let him be the team mascot.

“Nothing, just trying to exhaust your issues so we can get to mine.”
– Seth, after Ryan wonders why all the questions.

Episode 311 -“The Safe Harbor” Aired: 1/12/06

“Um, exile to public school, a year of solitude with ill-fitting gym shorts and mediocre lunches.”
– Summer, responding to Seth’s inquiry about what exactly they are saving Marissa from.

“Divorced, divorced, separated, divorced… I had no idea there were so many broken marriages in this town. It’s epidemic.”
– Kirsten, flipping through applications for their new high-end dating service.

“Good cause, poor odds, a chance to ruffle some Newpsie feathers? How could I say no?”
– Sandy, agreeing to be the parent-representative at the upcoming board meeting.

“No rhinos to plasty today?”
– Julie, surprised to find Dr. Roberts at home in the middle of the day.

“I’m picturing, like, Indecent Proposal … you’re Demi, naturally, and Taylor’s that leather-faced guy who talks to horses.”
– Summer, after giving Seth permission to do whatever it takes to get Taylor back on board.

“Anything else… you’d be facing a long night involving candle wax, tube socks, and the new Fiona Apple CD. But Marissa? I can’t.”
– Taylor, after Seth offers her sexual favors in exchange for her help on the campaign.

“Your mom’s a sport’s agent? I thought she was just a bored, bitter Newpsie.”
– Seth, after Taylor explains why she can’t face off with her mom.

“Summer, my little emperor, this is our Waterloo. We need to retreat. Minimize the collateral damage.”
– Seth, when it appears Marissa is not going to show up for the board meeting.

“There is no condo, no renovations. I live in a trailer park and I was too ashamed to tell you.”
– Julie, finally confessing the truth to Marissa.

Episode 312 -“The Sister Act”
Aired: 1/19/06

“The show you’re about to see has the all the makings of a classic Jane Austen novel. It’s got sisters, lies and bosoms.”
– Seth, assuring Summer that real life will be just as good as the Jane Austen film festival.

“Honey, you might’ve understood. You’re your father’s daughter. Kaitlin’s me. She’s not going to want our life.”
– Julie, after Marissa suggests that they just tell Kaitlin the truth about their life.

“…that her family’s a prime candidate for Pimp My Double-wide.”
– Seth, pondering the prospect of telling Kaitlin the truth.

“Are you talking about Kaitlin’s transformation from horsy tweener to lanky-limbed jailbait?”
– Seth, walking in on a conversation between Marissa and Ryan.

“One more pervy word about Coop’s not-so-mini-coop, and I may have to staple your tongue to your collar.”
– Summer’s response to Seth’s previous comment.

“The poor thing, it must be really hard for her readjusting. Kind of like coming back from Nam.”
– Taylor, referring to Marissa’s return to Harbor.

“The father of Marissa’s best friend. The girl you called ‘Little Miss Columbine’ at last week’s board meeting.”
– Kirsten, after Veronica Townsend asks her to set her up with Dr. Roberts.

“You’re going to hold a 17-year-old hostage for a date?”
– Kirsten, after Veronica Townsend tells her she’s going to make Marissa’s life a living hell if she doesn’t.

“We can’t give into threats like that. We don’t negotiate with the Newpsies.”
– Sandy, after hearing about Veronica’s threat.

“She’s Jimmy Copper’s daughter. Theft is in her blood.”
– Seth, after finding out that Kaitlin stole the door money from a fraternity party.

Episode 313 -“The Pot Stirrer”
Aired: 1/26/06

“There I was, ready to go, had my watch all set to East Coast time, then I get this interview and… I don’t know, it hit me, I’m leaving Newport.”
– Seth, after Ryan asks if he’s sure he’s all right.

“By the way, you poured coffee in your cereal.”
– Ryan, after Seth claims he’s fine.

“He said you either ride change or change rides you. And there’s no room in the trenches of life for whiny little babies.”
– Summer, quoting her boot camp instructor after Seth asks if she’s feeling any anxiety about leaving.

“We offered them bagels when they came in.”
– Sandy, after Matt informs him that their competition has been wining and dining the board for months.

“I was terrified about fitting in. I spent a month practicing how to say ‘dude.'”
– Sandy, assuring Seth that his anxiety about leaving is perfectly normal.

“I don’t want a contact we have to get by stuffing some guy with Kobe beef.”
– Sandy, when Kirsten asks if it’s too late to take another shot at the hospital contract.

“Yeah, I’m kinda saving the whole drug thing for college. Besides, my dad smoked pot at Berkeley, so it’s pretty much ruined for me.”
– Seth, after Kaitlin offers him a hit off her joint.

“Can you imagine what’s it’s like growing up with Marissa Cooper as your older sister? My birthday was the one day I could count on when people would notice me.”
– Kaitlin, explaining why having her mom forget her birthday is such a big deal.

“I just know when you’ve got a good thing, you hang onto it. With both hands. And if someone wants to take it from you, you make sure they pry it from your cold dead fingers!”
– Seth, responding to one of Ryan’s practice questions for his upcoming interview.

“After all those years of Cardio Barre and yoga-laties, I forgot how good it feels. I got three honks!”
– Julie, after engaging in the less expensive form of exercise known as running.

Episode 314 -“The Cliffhanger”
Aired: 2/02/06

“Summer was over pot by the 10th grade. She thinks it’s totally juvenile. It’d be like telling her I’m into Beanie Babies.”
– Seth, after Ryan suggests he just talk to Summer about it.

“We’re dangerously close to an after-school special here, Ryan. It’s marijuana. And I did it twice.”
– Seth, after Ryan tells him he’ll keep quiet about the pot.

“Kiki, I know you’ve been married for like two-hundred years, but you must remember something about dating.”
– Julie, after Kirsten suggests that she call Dr. Roberts instead of waiting for him to call her.

“How about we find a strategy that doesn’t involve liquor or sexual favors.”
– Sandy, after Matt confides that he has a personal connection with the head of the board’s daughter.

“Too bad, I was kind of looking forward to watching Summer bitch-slap Kaitlin for giving Seth pot.”
– Marissa, after Ryan tells her he promised Seth they wouldn’t mention the pot.

“I want to talk to you about Marissa… this whole Johnny triangle we’re all trapped in. Although now that I’m here, it’s more like a square.”
– Kaitlin, trying to convince Ryan to take some action.

“Congratulations on that new wing at Newport General. Luxury birthing suites. Now no one should have to suffer the indignity of giving birth without a flat-screen TV.”
– Sandy, after the director of the board tells him they’re barely staying afloat.

“From now on if someone needs to be manipulated, we put me in charge!”
– Julie, after Kirsten’s plan to set up Dr. Roberts backfires.

“Cohen, you are in a deceit spiral, and if you don’t stop now, you could turn into one of those creepy old men who have secret attics where they hide stolen money and porn.”
– Summer, after discovering Seth lied to her about missing the Brown interview.

Episode 315 -“The Heavy Lifting”
Aired: 2/09/06

“You think that I’m not valentine material? That I’m just a fun hang not worthy of chocolates, flowers and nice underwear.”
– Julie, after telling Kirsten that Dr. Roberts didn’t ask her out for Valentine’s.

“Julie, the last time you went on a stealth mission, you toppled the dessert tray.”
– Kirsten, after Julie tells her she’s thinking of inventing a fake reason to stop by Dr. Robert’s house.

“While Marissa and I were hot boxing Luke’s car, you were at home making a manger for Captain Oats out of Lincoln Logs.”
– Summer, cutting Seth some slack for trying pot now.

“No whining, no snarky comments. Candies, candles, lingerie. Nice Lingerie. Nothing red, see-through or remotely edible.”
– Kirsten, giving Sandy the conditions of their deal.

“Because inside my manly exterior beats the heart of a 14-year-old girl.”
– Seth, confessing to Ryan why he knows no girl wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day.

“Boy likes girl, girl has access to influential father, boy’s boss needs to close deal. It’s got all the makings of a great romance.”
– Sandy, after Matt tells him he’s not just leading Maya on, he really likes her.

“Making my inventories is one of those things, like masturbating or flossing my teeth, that even though you know I do it, I’d rather not have you witness it.”
– Seth, after Summer wonders why he tried to hide his music inventory list from her.

“What is it you say about Valentine’s Day? – that it’s a ‘vacuous, commercially-driven, hollow shell’ of a holiday?”
– Kirsten, after Sandy encourages her to play cupid with Matt and Maya.

“I have to say, women’s underwear has gotten very complicated… thong, bikini, brief… who knew panties were such a minefield?”
– Sandy, looking through the catalogue of a well-known lingerie company.

Episode 316 -“The Road Warrior”
Aired: 3/09/06

“You see, all the TV shows I watch, all these women have voiceovers. They even gave one to April on The Valley. Now where most of these voiceovers don’t make much sense, they do make your life seem more dramatic and meaningful.”
– Summer, rationally explaining to Marissa why she was listening to a tape of her own voiceover.

“I got two girls in bikinis trying to seduce me, which sounds awesome. But I’m scared, I’m wet and I’m cold, Ryan.”
– Seth, telling Ryan he’s the first guy to ever experience shrinkage in hot water.

“Oh, another late one with Doc Roberts. In the back of his Maserati, no less.”
– Julie, explaining why she’s so tired this morning. And possibly sore.

“Off the top of my head, um, get him into therapy to explore the root of why he can’t express himself in a lasting partnership. Or, get him a hot date. Get his mind off of being utterly alone.”
– Taylor, offering Summer a plan of attack for curing her father’s doldrums.

“Oh, please don’t say that. My dad has disastrous taste in women. If I don’t step in, he’ll wind up with the first money-grubbing slut bag that ends up in the back seat of his Maserati.”
– Summer, explaining to Kirsten why she has to help her father find a woman. As Julie stands behind her.

“Your dad and Julie Cooper are doing it. Yeah, it’s a shock to me, too. I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. It was all very mid-‘90s, overwrought thriller, sort of a Verhoeven shade.”
– Taylor, tactfully informing Summer about her father’s dalliance, with a dose of film school thrown in.

“So what? I kinda like her, you know? I don’t care that she married my grandpa for money or had sex with Luke. I think she’s got moxie.”
– Seth, dismissing Summer’s concerns about Julie so he can get back to making out.

Episode 317 -“The Journey”
Aired: 3/16/06

“Yeah, and if you cross Johnny Law, no more time in that day care juvy. It’s going to be hard time in the big house for you, pally.”
– Seth, pointing out to Ryan one of the other consequences of his upcoming 18th birthday.

“Coop, you spend all your time on that lifeguard stand staring out at the water like you’re a Naval widow.”
– Summer, advising Marissa to buck up.

“Oh yeah. Today’s the day you’re going to tell Marissa about your parents doing the bone dance.”
– Seth, artfully telling Summer he knows about her plans.

“Because I have to worry about Julie Cooper giving my dad VD and taking all of his money. So my plate is full.”
– Summer, artfully telling Seth he has to be responsible for fixing the Ryan and Marissa relationship.

Episode 318 -“The Undertow”
Aired: 3/23/06

“Turns out the guy’s a huge anime fan. We got into the whole Akira versus Ghost in the Shell debate. Both came down on Ghost in the Shell.”
– Seth, nerdfully telling Summer why he aced his Brown interview this time.

“Well, it looks like you two are going to college together. Don’t you worry that Seth’s eye will wander? All the nubile young coeds? You, the familiar old shoe.”
– Taylor, pointing out to Summer that all teen boys are shameless wildcats.

“Listen, as we speak, your new, uh, sometimes kinda girlfriend is probably sitting by, cradling a hunk of plaster waiting for you to make a move. So you can either dwell on the past, go see Jess or live for the now. Now go give Sadie a call.”
– Seth, showing Ryan that sometimes life isn’t as complicated as he wants it to be.

“What? I had a salami sub. I feel like it’s lingering.”
– Seth, wondering if Summer is turned on by the scent of salami.

“So was last night like totally kinky, or was it like more about tender lovemaking? You know, smooth jazz, a burning fire, zebra skin rug.”
– Taylor, way into the details of Seth and Summer’s night alone.

“No, I think we’re just too embarrassed to face each other. Either that, or he’s treading water until he gets to Brown and finds a big pair of pale New England boobs to replace me.”
– Summer, fretting to Marissa about the lack of chemistry in her relationship.

“Now, I am not a licensed sex therapist. But my father was, and before he ran away, he used to conduct these sessions with real couples in our basement.”
– Taylor, quickly moving Seth and Summer’s relationship from stagnant to incredibly awkward.

Episode 319 -“The Secrets and Lies”
Aired: 3/30/06

“He’s leaning forward, indicating all focus in on her. See how her palms are facing up? That means she’s open to what he’s communicating. StarMagazine, ‘What Stars’ Body Language is Really Saying.'”
– Summer, displaying an incredible grasp of body language.

“Looking good, Coop! Look very Kate Moss pre-Vanity Fair cover.”
– Summer, implying to Marissa that maybe her life is spiraling downwards.

“Volchok is Atwood’s kryptonite. He’ll totally Hulk out.”
– Summer, mixing comic book metaphors in an attempt to explain Ryan’s reaction to Volchok and Marissa.

“I mean, you may be Mrs. Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts, but if you make my dad happy, then I’m happy.”
– Summer, telling Julie that’s she happy about the engagement, while perhaps comparing her to Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure.

“What? The guy who produced the ball of energy from his chest and then destroyed the world? I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.”
– Seth, expressing surprise that his mother didn’t fully understand the movie he picked out for their night together

“Wow! Well, aren’t you a regular Veronica Mars? Way to solve this week’s mystery!”
– Marissa, criticizing Summer’s nosiness while referencing a wildly popular teen show.

“I did. I tried to activate his savior complex, but it seems he’s been cured.”
– Seth, informing Summer that he tried to get Ryan to rescue Marissa from the clutches of the Volchok, with no success.

Episode 320 -“The Day After Tomorrow”
Aired: 4/6/06

“Aww, even all padded up you look so scrawny.”
– Summer, lamenting to Seth that even a down parka doesn’t bulk him up.

“Eating breakfast, are we? Does this mean we’re actually going to school today, or do you need the extra strength for all the small children you and Volchok plan to mug?”
– Summer, not getting along with Marissa as much as she used to.

“And I was lying. Your forehand sucks!”
– Sandy, trying to turn the final screw on Dr. Griffin.

“I know you guys are just making an excuse to get from me. It’s okay! It’s cute!”
– Taylor, being perceptive.

“I just don’t get it. We had a dream, the dream comes true and suddenly he’s like, ‘God, what a crappy dream.’ I mean, who does that?”
– Summer, wondering what the heck is wrong with Seth.

Episode 321 – “The Dawn Patrol”
Aired: 4/13/06

“I told Neil this house had rats.”
– Julie, none too pleased to see Volchok in her daughter’s bedroom.

“Keep that grimy paw away from me. Unless you want to see what ten years of cardiobar can do to your face.”
– Julie, turning down Volchok’s offer of a handshake.

“The only thing that would make me feel better is seeing that assless, gutless wuss skinned and flayed and served as assless, gutless wuss tartare.”
– Summer, not exactly ready to let bygones be bygones with Seth.

“I know you guys are just making an excuse to get away from me. It’s okay! It’s cute!”
– Taylor, being perceptive.

“Listen up, Tommy Lee. You’re just the latest in a series of experiments my daughter likes to make when acting out. So enjoy it because right here, right now is as good as it gets for you. Soon, Marissa is going to wake up and realize she is so much better than you and your life.”
– Julie, patiently breaking life down for Volchok.

“Aw, that would never happen to me, you stallion.”
– Seth, envious that Ryan hooked up with a waitress within hours of arriving in Albuquerque.

“The only thing he’s willing to do is go round two with your skull.”
– Sandy, bluntly telling Matt that Dr. Griffin isn’t going to play ball.

“Plan A. I fake my own death. You never want to underestimate the power of the sympathy vote.”
– Seth, detailing his plan for winning back Summer to Ryan.

Episode 322 – “The College Try”
Aired: 4/20/06

“You’re taking all that? You only own, like, a wifebeater and two hoodies.”
Seth, expressing surprise that Ryan has packed such a full bag for an overnight trip.

“What am I thinking? Kids at Brown don’t wear sparkly scarves. Maybe on the way to the airport, I’ll stop and get some sort of angry piercing.”
Summer, fretting that she won’t fit in at her new school.

“Marissa, honey, you know it’s not too late for me to go with you. I promise I wouldn’t embarrass you. I could pretend to be part of your entourage or…your Scientology guide.”
Julie, making sure Marissa doesn’t want motherly company in Berkeley.

“Ryan, I’m touching ivy right now. Real ivy. It’s grows on the buildings here. Those pictures in the brochure? They’re not Photoshopped.”
Seth, surprised that the term “Ivy League” is so literal.

“You guys, what is a jihad?”
A not so deep Brown student. Summer.

“Well, I don’t know. If I was in your circle of friends, I might accidentally let it slip that you used to do musicals.”
Marissa, humorously letting Ryan know being her friend at Berkeley could be good, or it could be bad.

“Yes. Kumar Zimmerman. I’m half Indian, half Jewish. I am a Hinjew.”
Seth, lying about his name being Kumar so he can take a walking tour at Brown.

Episode 323 – “The Party Favor”
Aired: 4/27/06

“I love you, but if I have to spend my senior prom with you playing video games, I’m gonna kill myself.”
– Seth, not up for Ryan’s suggestion of blowing off prom.

“No, I get it. It’s in the past. Plus, I assume she’d be going with the surf Nazi anyways, unless he’s selling crack to blind kids or something…or fondling some girl at the end of the pier.”
– Seth, agreeing with Ryan that Marissa is not a viable date for the prom.

“He’s got this wonderfully hairless body. It’s like hooking up with a seal.”
– Taylor, raving about her new Korean love, Sung Ho.

“Really cute, but not mine.”
– Ryan, now into the idea of Theresa having a baby.

“That’s Summer’s date. Looks like the guy in Full Metal Alchemist.”
– Seth, already jealous of Jung Nom.

“Wasn’t it kindergarten when Seth would only answer to Boba Fett?”
– Kirsten, reminiscing with the parents while the kids dance, dance, dance.

Episode 324 – “The Man of the Year”
Aired: 5/04/06

“What? Your friend Megan needs another abortion?”
– Marissa, skeptical about why her sister is calling.

“We just got back together. The window for a makeup hookup is rapidly closing, unless you wanna break up again.”
– Seth, asking Summer to quit with the questions and proceed with the kissing.

“He can be self-righteous, pompous and annoying, but Sandy’s very moral.”
– Julie, listing three of Sandy’s bad attributes, and one of his good ones.

“Seven stitches, a couple of broken ribs. I’ll live.”
– Volchok, giving Ryan a full damage report.

“I don’t care, ‘cause I got nothing to lose. And you got everything. And that’s why you’re a little bitch.”
– Volchok, informing Ryan that only bitches care about stuff.

Episode 325 – “The Graduates”
Aired: 5/18/06

“Well, you know, since my grades went from Bs to As, I was actually wondering if you could change my As to Bs.”
– Kaitlin, totally messing with Dr. Roberts about wanting breast augmentation.

“I asked you for clothes, not opinions. Chicks and your opinions, man.”
– Volchok, being so completely Volchok.

– Sandy, screaming at his boy during the graduation ceremony.

“Oh my God. Cooper family hug.”
– Julie, getting all emotional and stuff.

“Thanks, Ranger Rick. But save the speeches for the Boy Scouts.”
– Volchok, rejecting Ryan’s cheery advice to start over.

“No, stay. Don’t leave.”
– Marissa, with what will be the last words she ever says.


77 Comments on “The Best OC Quotes”

  1. Faz Says:

    Im from Australia and the OC is quality.
    bit sad that there is only 16 episodes

  2. Caitie LOVES THE OC! Says:

    Everyone of the quotes are sensational!!!

  3. Caitie LOVES THE OC! Says:

    Oh btw i also live in Australia, Melbourne!
    here at home the oc is so popular!

  4. Breeze Says:

    i love the o.c but truely i think that they are killing it marrissa is dead and the show basically revolves around her she took the show away from ryan and made it her own and now it should be finished.
    I own every season and i think what they are doing in season four is really wrong. Apparently the show might not even be approved because the fox network got so many complaints about the last season which is season 3. So i hope they dont approve it to show coz i think what they ae doing is wrong and i cant believe im saying this because i use to wag school just so i could watch the o.c but now i hear whats happening in the season 4 and i am disguisted.

  5. sarah Says:

    i live in australia to im from nsw i love the oc i even went to melbourne a few weaks ago to see mischa barton

  6. tom Says:

    i live in New Zealand and i dont know what you guys are talking about why stop season 4 before it even goes on tv. caz we actually dont know much about the season it might be the best yet!!!

  7. aly Says:

    why would you want to end it just cuz of marissa?! i think this season could be good even if marissa isnt in it

  8. Gessica Says:

    The quote you took from “The Girlfriend”, the part about the poem is completely wrong. First of all the poem was called I Wish I Was a Mermaid and it goes ” i wish i was a mermaid and was friends with all the fish, a shiny tail and seashells, that’s…” and then she kisses seth. The whole quote though from the begining when seth is speaking its COMPLETELY wrong. u should fix that its not right to be leaving fake quotes all over the place.

  9. savetheoc Says:

    Yeah thanks for that, there are some wrong quotes here, i never wrote them and just overlooked that one!
    thanks again.

  10. mr skin Says:

    Russell Crowe says he is getting too old to be an action hero? I didn’t see that one coming. He’s an awesome action hero in his movies. Hope this doesn’t mean he is going to stop being in those type of films.

  11. melissa Says:


  12. Jess Says:

    In The Graduation The Quote ” Queered and Weird are wearing a “gown”.” It’s actually Queered just admitted to wearing a gown

  13. MR OC Says:


  14. shaz Says:

    i like dese all there kwl

  15. Maddie Says:

    i miss marissa.

  16. Ana Says:


    I think it’s missing the main quote of the show!!
    It’s from season one, when Ryan meets Marissa. Marissa asks him: “Who are you?” and Ryan answers “Whoever you want me to be…”

    To me, it’s the best quote ever!

    (I also passed by to say that I love the OC soundtrack, specially songs from Nada Surf – If you leave, and Mazzy Star – Into dust ( from The escape-season one)

  17. Tomea Says:

    Where is the one where luke says, “welcome to the OC Bi^&%?

    that is the best first quote ever!!

  18. Tomea Says:

    When can we post quotes from other seasons? Last night s episode (My Tow Dads) was priceless.
    Summer: Frack that, he wants to gain a chicken he’s gonna get it. Im going bridezilla on his @$$

  19. domi Says:

    well..the OC is EVEN more popular here in Honduras…every friday i comment with my friends on the episode of thursday..

  20. christine Says:

    wow. Che said the best quote on The French Connection

    Che to Summer over the telephone: “In order for two halves to be whole, they each have to be whole on their own.”

    looove it.

  21. christine Says:

    does anyone else here hate Taylor

  22. carol Says:

    ahhhh. i hated taylor at first… she’s growing on me though.

    there was a quote that i really liked.
    sandy said it to ryan about the whole taylor thing.
    anyone remember what it was?

  23. marissa Says:

    hey leute

    ich finde das einfach scheiße das
    marissa stirbt
    es hat überhaupt keinen sin es weiter anzuschauen !!!!


  24. marissa Says:

    ich weiß was passiert ryan stirbt in der5 staffell

    das wird genau so scheiße





    my life^ could not live with outt


    OK i HATE TAYLOR i don’t know how Taylor could ever replace Marissa. Marissa was ah-mazingly beatiful& nice she was just ah-mazing her and ryan were a way better couple Taylor and Ryan together suckk! Ryan really loved Marissa b/c when she died he was really depressed and when Marissa died i watcjed it ten times b/c i own the third season and i cried soo hard everytime b/c i loved her

  28. CECE LOVE THE O.C. Says:


  29. iwillremeberyou Says:


  30. iwillremeberyou Says:

    ben makenzie all u need in life

  31. Julie Says:

    Ok, there is one quote from “The Secret” which I think is too perfect to be left out:

    Kirsten: I think you just like saying that.
    Sandy: Yogilates? Yeah I think I do. turns to Ryan Yogilates?
    Ryan: Yooooogilates! Ryan drinks his coffee.
    Sandy: Yogilates.

  32. Riley Says:

    omg im gonna go into depression when this show ends..seriouselyt im going to lose 20 pounds..i am so sad..and nervous about she sick or something..if any one knows anything please tell me!

  33. Kate Says:

    Kirstens not sick, shes pregnant!

    Groundhog Day:

    Kirsten: I’m pregnant
    Sandy: One more time…
    Kirsten: Sandy, we’re having a baby
    Sandy: We’re having a baby?!
    Kirsten: Everythings gonna change
    Sandy: You’re not kiddin’… I love you
    Kirsten: Well thats good cos theres gonna be alot more of me to love!

  34. GIANELLA Says:

    HELLO I LOVE YOU BEN I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. x( Says:

    I live in Austria and I watched every episode. I’m so said that the o.c. is concluded. Just can’t live without it… :-(((

  36. Alex Says:

    Omg i love the oc i cant believe that series 4 is the last one. It’s sooooooooooooooooooo good. I’m like totally addicted

  37. Jordyn Cleveland Says:

    Hi I have watch The O.C. since the being and I do not think that is should stop playing.

  38. Jordyn Cleveland Says:

    HI I love The O.C., and it is the best show on air.So do not go off air. Keep playing.

  39. Clff Burger Says:

    I been cry at you! The O.C. Girls so very much.
    I miss you a lot The OC. California. I love Pretty Teen Girls
    & Adult Girls right Now
    Love Clff Burger

  40. tori Says:

    omg !! thanks for the qutoes . i love seth he is so funny lol and ryan… haha thanks again =)


  41. megan Says:

    omg!! im going through like a depression this week! ITS MONDAY AND THURSDAY IS THE LAST EPISODE EVER. =[=[ there are some amazing quotes missing in there. YEAH PLEASEEEE KEEP THE SHOW GOING!! JUST CUZ IT WAS ALOT BETTER WITH MARISSA, ITS STILL AMAZING. OC IS LIFE!!!!!! KEEP IT ON THE AIR PLEASE. I CANT LIVE WITHOUT THE OC =[ =[ =[

  42. Branko Says:


  43. Kyleighh. Says:

    OH MY GOSH, TWO AND A HALF HOURS TILL THE LAST EPISODE OF THE OC=(. its hasnt even started and im crying.. wow just friggen keep it on the airrr!:(:(. oc = life!

  44. Maisey Says:

    i just started watcing the oc this season and i really love even though i used think it was stoopid. im really sad that i only just realised how mad awesomeit is now. =[
    im also angry that they started airing it later here in Australia cuz it was getting bad ratings, i reckon this only would result in worse ratings……………….there for i am a very sad and angry and emotional person.
    wow im obsessed.

  45. Maisey Says:

    SHES WRITING TO HIM AND ASKING FOR AN ITEM OF CLOTHING FROM HIM. Im sorry but that is kinda sad, i mean i love my friend but i can kinda picture her wearing the shirt or watever so that she smelt like adam brody……………….. admiring is fine but treating people like gods isnt.

  46. tOYaH Says:


  47. leo Says:

    The OC is the best.
    I love Marissa…
    The OC forever
    I wil never forget it
    it’s the best

  48. Dude Says:

    Wow…..cant believe its ending…….

  49. Seth's freak! Says:

    i v been hooked on this show since the first episode, i live in egypt so i cant see it on tv..i have all the episodes though..i am a freak!!!i cried my eyes out when it ended…taylor can never replace marissa but shez turned out to be nice after all..i still have hopes that it will be back i just cant get myself to believe its over!!!i will miss it terribly

  50. grace Says:

    luvin da O.C gunna b soooo sad wen it ends lv yu

  51. ocprincess10 Says:

    omg, living in the oc only makes not watching it every week harder cuz i see houses around her all the time that look the ones on the show, and wen ever i go to the beach and see the lifeguarde house thingys it makes me really sad!!! BRING BAQ THE OC!!!!! i keep watching the last epidode over and over on my DVR! i dont want 2 get rid of it!

  52. Bobby Says:

    Why is it so hard to let go of a show? that everybody has giving up on, and still haveing hope of it returning, even after knowing that it’s not comming back ever. If us as fans really wanted the O.C. to stay on for another season we should have fought harder. Boycott FOX NOW don’t watch anything on that channel. It’s funny to me that the show that took over the O.C. time slot had over 25 million viewers on it’s opening night. How many of them where O.C. fans.

  53. adam c Says:

    Shallow Water Polo Player: Get outta my way, geek. What is that, a dress?
    Seth: It’s a graduation gown. You’re wearing one too.
    Shallow Water Polo Player to his friend: Queered and Weird are wearing a “gown”.

    ‘Queer ADMITTED to wearing a gown”


  54. OCisawesum Says:

    I want the OC bak!!!!!
    i hav all of em on dvd except season 4 cos its
    not out yet!!!!
    O yea & Ben Mckenzie who plays ryan is HOT!!!
    does any1 no if he is in anythin else???
    Ryan & Taylor were such a cute couple!
    So were ryan & marissa but then marissa went crazy so……

  55. leah Says:

    people josh said that season 4 was just the begining in a couple of years its coming bak !!!!!!!!!! leahxx

  56. sethluvrforlife Says:

    no foolio… i dont think so… alot of people are saying that but nah… i think its done n i think if they bring it back its gnna be kinda wack.. like they said its over then its over but dont think it be cool to bring it back.

  57. tyler tomson Says:





  59. […] May 2, 2007 @ 6:42 pm } · { the oc, TV } Hey, The O.C. Season 4 Quotes are now available here in the Best OC Quotes page. The page is under construction and at the moment there is only season 4 […]

  60. roberta Says:

    hey you need to put the one up when taylor says to ryan just because i wanna run through your body like a jungle gym doesnt mean we have to get married! lol good quote! 🙂

  61. kirsty Says:

    so said that the o.c is over i really miss it ..hell lot

  62. queen_e Says:

    thanks for all these quotes

  63. Rachum Says:

    What happened to all of the quotes from 1 and two?!? I love those please keep quotes from all the seasons up!

  64. savetheoc Says:

    ^ I am just re-vamping the Quotes page.. The season 1 and 2 quotes will be up by tomorrow or the day after 🙂 Check back!

  65. O.C lover Says:

    u absolutely rock these quotes r gr8 i luv the o.c more than nething n donno wht i wud do widout it n yr website is really kool too……………plz keep ur updates going n pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease can u tell me more about the box with seasons 1-4 together i really want it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thnx so much for creating this site coz this is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    -Aaliya K.

  66. Lizzy Says:

    i cant belive dat Mariser died n dat ryan went out wiv Tayor Marrisor was meant to end up wiv Ryan its SO sad

  67. char Says:



  68. sad Says:

    its sad that imiss the oc so much that i look at these sites but i cant help it i misssss it it was my happiness

  69. TAO Says:


  70. Bite the bullet Says:

    Seriously, I liked what they did in Season 4. The saved the Story.
    I mean, Marissa making out with Volchok, the guy who put that surfer kid into misery in the first place, *ew 😉

    And what if Marissa was still alive? Invent another character for her almost sick mother/caring instincts? Her destructing herself had to end somehow…

    And after all, this is just a tv-series.

    P.S.: I totally liked the relations to “atomic county” in the 4th season!
    And Seths tatoo! That marine scene rocked! I mean stev-o in the oc, great. Last not least ryans father. good choice!

  71. Maggie Says:

    Well the oc is the best show ever!! i cried every episode of the 4th season becaus eit ws horible..taylor is a dumb slut that needs to realize ryan and marissa are forever..and i have to add BENJAMIN MCKENZIE AND ADAM BRODY ARE SOOOOO HOTTT=)

  72. Kristen Says:

    ok so i am in love with THE OC. i am so sad that first yall killed mariassa off and now yall ended it. well i mean it was such a good show. WHY?? and it wasnt one of those shows where no one could relate everyone i knew and ESPECIALLY me could relate to it. it was easy to understand the problems with the ooper family and how they fased huge obstacles in getting over their daughters death. it was real to me. Everything about it was real it happens all the time. Some guy who is on the streets about go ruin his life gets saved. the public could relate. why would yall take off such a good show. it also gave younger adults inspiration. Towards the end when summer was growing and maturing into an activists told us we could change too. We could go from preppy bitch no one likes to women hero who the people of america look upon. It was just a horrable descion to end it now. things were going great.

  73. eRika Says:

    best show in the world. im hooked. it will never end since i just watch the dvds connstintely.

  74. Aida Says:

    ooh, gotta love that 🙂

  75. Kai Says:

    Ok, i’ve just been reading through some of the comments on here and I can’t believe so many people liked the character Marissa, she had no personality whatsoever. Mischa Barton is also so wooden i hear they cast her as the ark in Evan Almighty.
    I never watched the OC until i got the dvds a few months ago and just finished watching it last night. Up until the last two episodes (which were utter rubbish because they tried to cram half of a season into them) season 4 was by far and away the funniest, most diverse and most interesting season of them all. It was a major disappointment how it all finished up as it could have went at least another series but really the only people to blame for it finishing are the (so-called) fans of the show who stopped watching after the most boring drone of a tv character kicked the bucket.
    And as for the character Taylor, she is the exact opposite, a complete breath of fresh air, absoluetly hilarious and far far far hotter.
    Ok so thats my two-cents worth.I’m sure it’ll get lots of “noooo Marissa was da bst” and “Ryan n Marissa 4eva” and other such rubbish but really I don’t care and all I have to say to those people is go outside, breathe in some fresh air, and live YOUR life, not a group of tv characters’. Oh and also, learning to write properly might also make people sound less like they’re 6 years old and havn’t started school yet.

  76. […] The Best OC Quotes « Save The OCTHE OC SEASON 4 QUOTES.  … “Ah, it’s too bad because if we could’ve turned this into a body swap comedy, we could’ve squeezed another year or two out of this.”; – Seth, hitting upon a way to save The OC, but a bit too late. […]

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